Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement.The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death would be cut next month from 72 to 54. A spokesman said increases in recent years in the number of suicide bombings has resulted in a shortage of virgins in the afterlife.The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs ( B.O.O.M.!) responded with a statement saying the move was unacceptable to its members and called for a strike vote. General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for much in return but to be treated like this is like a kick in the teeth".Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands, Al Qaeda chief executive Haisheet Mapants explained, "I sympathize with our workers concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands. They. .. and never, ever did go beyond that, not then or later even ... I had done so. Just stroking it long enough to make it hard enough for her to see what one actually looked like fully erect. She had ... yes admittedly, fondled it briefly, once again just getting a feel for it, no pun intended. The whole examination and curiosity had lasted all of five minutes. But she left far less afraid and unsure of herself afterwards.I never told her I'd stayed behind out there in the barn of our parent's place furiously jerking myself off afterwards. That single little semi-innocent memory had remained one of my fondest masturbation fantasies for several years after that. Though like I said ... we never did anything like it again. Two years later, Darlene was married. And a year after that ... she was divorced again. Thank god she and Jim had never had any children together.As for myself? I'd been engaged once, nearly married ... but I began seeing certain sign's in my own fiancé' and taking my.
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